Lolly-less

So our attempt to give Boogie a brother failed miserably.

As I wrote about before, we adopted a very cute, senior dog after falling in love with him and his story at an animal shelter. I named him Lolly after my favorite Schoolhouse Rock episode. He’s 12, but had the energy of a much younger dog. His only owner had passed away, leaving him without a home. We wanted to give him a nice home for his retirement years.

Things got off to a rocky start. After we adopted him I had to gout of town for three days, during which the new dog raised holy hell while home with my boyfriend and Boogie. Barking, scratching and hurling himself at doors, escaping from the house and running down the street – the gamut! But when I returned, despite my boyfriend’s exasperation, I was sure that it was just an adjustment period, and that we could make it work. Lolly gave me his perfect “Who me? Make trouble? I’m the sweetest dog ever!” face, and I was determined to smooth things over. We studied dog behavior, got a trainer, did everything we thought was right.

But after days (and then weeks) of Lolly barking, pawing doors until his paws bled and howling every time he was left alone – or even when he wasn’t alone, but was separated from us by a dog gate – the dog trainer gave us her assessment: it wasn’t separation anxiety. The dog was simply pissed off. He had never been left alone before, and he wasn’t going to put up with that happening now.

The trainer said we could try to work on that, but curing the problem would be hard, if not impossible, at his age. Since we were weeks away from moving into an apartment, where barking would not be tolerated, we knew our home wasn’t right for him. Most importantly, he hurt himself when he was alone. He would have bloody paws from digging at the door even if he was alone for only an hour. Even if Boogie was with him. We work everyday – and leaving Lolly all day would essentially be endangering him.

Tearfully, we decided to return him to the shelter. I was expecting judgment, banishment from their adoption services, and goodness knows what else. Instead, the shelter folks were understanding and more – they said we did the exact right thing. We’d done all we could – spent over $1,000 in vet fees, dog training services, supplies and food for him in the time we had him. If our home wasn’t right, it’s better to let him find the perfect home than to keep him in an imperfect situation.

I still cried for days. I felt like I failed him, even though objectively I knew I didn’t. We won’t be notified where he is ultimately placed, but I pray he finds a great home with a retiree, or someone who works at home, or a house with lots of people to love and care for the pooch. And never leave him alone. He has many, many years of life ahead of him (the vet said he’s healthy as an ox), and I hope they are happy ones.

As for Boogie, he was a trooper through all of the chaos! I was so proud of him. He never complained, he always tried to play with Lolly, and otherwise stayed out of the way of Lolly’s wrath. But, I have to say, since we returned Lolly, Boogie has been in the best mood of his life!

Happy Birthday Barry Manilow!!

Dear Barry,

Looks like you made it to 66! Congrats!

And even though I still smart a little because you did not sing this Elleen’s Essentials ditty when I saw you in concert last year, I still love you enough to wish you a Happy, Happy Birthday. Because you write the songs that make the whole world sing!

Jukebox: George is moving me!

Moving sucks. I hate it. More than almost anything.

Don’t get me wrong – I love getting a new fresh start in a new place. But the sorting through of things, packing things, throwing away things, losing things, repacking things, unpacking things, not being able to find things, breaking things…it all sucks rocks. All of it. Ugh. Alas, I will be going through this process for weeks. Maybe months. Uuugh.

So it goes without saying that I need some music to get me through today’s packing nightmare. On my way home from work today, the iPod was on shuffle, and Freedom by Wham! came on. A big ol’ bag of awesomeness.

I knew what I needed. A George Michael mix. Yes, he may be better known now for doing dirty things in rest stops. Whatever, I don’t care about his personal life. I’m about the music.

I put all my George Michael and Wham! tracks on in an On-The-Go mix, put it on shuffle, and this is what came out, in its entirely. Sweet!

UPDATE: This morning I learned that somehow, 10 years ago, without my knowledge, GM made a duet of Stevie Wonder’s As with Mary J. Blige. MARY J. FRIGGIN’ BLIGE!!!! How did I not know this?!?! Oh, this must be added to the playlist:

I Want Your Sex, Parts I &II, George Michael. Oooh, remember how George had to do the disclaimer at the beginning of the video saying the song was not about casual sex? When it’s totally about casual sex? Yeah. Oh! And remember when the radio used to bleep out the word “sex” in the song? Like “I want your [bleep] is so much less suggestive? The ‘80s were a trip, man. But this song is a classic. Cuz sex is natural. Sex is good. Not everybody does it. But everybody should!

Oh, and check out George’s real-life girlfriend at the time! So you think she was a beard, or just clueless?

I Want Your Sex, Part III (A Last Request), George Michael. This is my favorite GM song of ALL TIME. Hands down. So cool. Love the trumpet solos. Super, super sexy. Best thing ever.

A Different Corner, Wham! Sappy sentimental song that I hated at the time it was out, but love now.

One More Try, George Michael. I sang the wrong lyrics for so long, that when I learned the correct ones, I couldn’t accept them. So I still sing the wrong lyrics. “And teach us better things that I don’t want to learn.” Those are my lyrics and I’m sticking to them!

Where Did Your Heart Go? Wham! I love this song – if only for the mental visual of sharing a rusty can of corn with George Michael down on the wharf. For the record, I left my heart down in Mexico. (OMG how CUTE is Andrew in this vid?!?! *Swoon*!! I loved him for years before I started crushing on George. Oh, yeah – and how did this video not make me realize that George was totally and completely gay?!? I mean, that dance during the saxophone solo!!! Hel-lo!?! I had the worst teenage gaydar on earth.)

Everything She Wants, Wham! “Ahhh-ha (Ahhh-ha) Ohhh-ho (Ohhh-ho) Ah-haaa (Ah-haa) Doo doo doo, la la la la la…”

Monkey, George Michael. The only possible good thing that could come from dating a drug addict is being able to write a kick ass song like this.

Blue, Wham! Ok song. I wouldn’t kick it out of bed.

Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go, Wham! As much as I love ‘80s music, I have a confession to make: I hate this song. I don’t think I’ve listened to it of my own volition in 20 years. It’s on my iPod out of obligation – how can you have Wham! on your player without this song? It could come in handy at a party or something. Or when you are drunk with friends. I’m sober now, so we’re hitting the FF button…

I’m Your Man, Wham! OMG, I totally forgot about this jam! I love when my iPod surprises me. Good good, stuff. So much better than the Go-Go crap.

Hard Day, George Michael. I friggin’ love this song! “Bang! Bang! You’re dead. Couldn’t we just make love instead? Say yes cuz it’s what we do best, and I’ve had such a hard day.” Lyric writer deserves an award.

Kissing A Fool, George Michael. I like this song because it shows that GM is actually  talented vocalist. And it’s fun to sing.

Faith, George Michael. I don’t care that he plays for the other team, or that he grew to hate this video and the ripped jeans and leather jacket (he burned them in his video for Freedom ’90). He looked friggin’ hot! My crush on who George used to be will never die.

Edge of Heaven, Wham! OMG, I am finding all kinds of stuff I forgot was on my iPod. This never comes up on shuffle, which is a shame, because this song is my joint! “There’s a place for us in a dirty movie, cuz no one does it better than me and you!”

Mother’s Pride, George Michael. I played this often in the early years of the war on Iraq. So sad.

Too Funky, George Michael. Remember when he used the supermodels in his videos? Ooooh – check out the young Miss Tyra! Oh, and Beyonce dear: You think the motorcycle-inspired getup that you wear on your tour is original? Or that robotic glove thing? Um, yeah – you might want to think again, girlfriend!

Father Figure, George Michael. I find it impossible to hear this song and not sing every word out loud. Loudly.

Freedom, Wham! The song that started this playlist! Not to be confused with Freedom ’90, George’s solo hit. Completely different. Although both are awesome.

Last Christmas, Wham! I forgot about this one! It’s June, though, for goodness sakes. I gotta hit FF! Love the song though. Just gotta wait until November.

Battlestations, Wham! OMG, this song kicks ASS! “You won’t pick up the phone. Why lie to my face? (When you can buy a tape machine that gives me bullsh*t in your place!)”

Freedom ’90, George Michael. Words to live by. “All we have to see is that I don’t belong to you, and you don’t belong to me. Yeah, yeah!”

Careless Whisper, Wham! Leave it to the iPod to leave the best for last. This just wants me to get out the red strobe light, put on my neon socks and baggy sweatshirt, and slow dance with somebody in my middle school gymnasium. Because to the heart and mind ignorance is kind. There’s no comfort in the truth. Pain is all you’ll find. Classic, classic, sh*t right here. Now let the saxophone solo touch your soul.

The story of Lolly

Hi, I’m Lolly. At least that is what my new family is calling me. They are bringing me home today! I’m so excited to go live with them that they can call me whatever they want!

I’m pretty excited because it’s been a crazy few months for me. I had another human dad for a really, really long time. How long? Well, guess how old I am? Go ahead, guess! I don’t look a day over 6, do I? And lemme tell ya – I don’t act like it either. But I’m 12. (That’s right – old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway! Ha!)

Anyway, one day my human dad wasn’t feeling so well. Some neighbors took me in for a while while my dad went to some place called a hospital. Then one day my neighbor friends got a phone call that made them seem very sad. They were saying my human dad’s name and other words I didn’t understand like “died” and “passed away.”

Then the neighbors brought me to a cool place called a shelter, where there were lots of other dogs to play with, and people who would come visit us. My new friends told me it was a place where dogs go to find new human parents to take them home! The people who worked there were really, really nice.

This is what I looked like when my neighbor friends brought me in. They didn’t know how to brush me, so I was a little matted and itchy:

Then the nice shelter people gave me a haircut to make me look cuter. Aren’t I photogenic?

But I was still pretty itchy, so they shaved me so I could get all the mats off. I felt much, much better:

I was at the shelter for a long time, though. It wasn’t too bad – the people who worked there saw how nice I was, so they would take me to schools and I would help teach kids about pets and adoption. The kids would always pet me and play with me. I LOVED that.

But I would see lots of my doggie friends finding new human families and going home with them. It made me sad to see them go, and I wished I could have a new family too.

I don’t know why it took so long for me. Lots of the humans who came in said they were looking for puppies or young dogs. But just because I’m 12 doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love them!

Then one day a nice man and lady came in to see me. I liked them a LOT! Especially the lady. She gives really, really good belly rubs, so I kept going back to her for more.

They came back again the next day, and guess what? They brought their dog Boogie! I LOVED him! I kept trying to play with him, but he kept running away. I wasn’t offended. I know he’ll love me when he gets to know me.

The nice people at the shelter told me that the nice humans and Boogie are going to be my new family! Yay! They are coming to get me today. I’m so excited! I get parents AND a brother! I’ll miss all my doggie friends, but I’m sure they will get forever homes soon too.

Jukebox: The SBW edition

I woke up this morning in need of some serious self empowerment. And the first song that popped into my head was the Erykah Badu track, Apple Tree. A little strange, because I haven’t heard this song in years. It wasn’t even on my iPod – I had to go find the CD and upload it. But when I played it, it hit the spot like a glass of lemonade in the August DC heat.

So I decided to make a self-empowerment playlist, complete with songs that are not only positive and inspiring, but that come with that extra kick of power from being performed by a Strong Black Woman. I have got to learn to tap my own SBW vibe, so this will help me on that road. You should listen to these tracks too to tap your own SBW vibe today (you don’t have to be black to have one!)

SBW: Erykah Badu. I love this woman. She does what she wants and she doesn’t give a got-dayum. (Not to mention the fact that she’s dated Common and Andre 3000. Yum!)

Tracks:

Apple Tree. “I picks my friends like I picks my fruit. My Ganny told me that when I was only a youth. I don’t walk around tryin’ to be what I’m not, I don’t waste my time tryin’ to get what you got. I work at pleasin’ me cuz I can’t please you. And that’s why I do what I do. My soul flies free like a willow tree. Doo wee, doo wee, do weeeeeeee!”

On and On. “Peace and blessings manifest with every lesson learned. If you knowledge is worth your wealth then it would be well earned.”

SBW: Mary J. Blige. I can guarantee this: if you are ever feeling low and need a spring in your step, put on some Mary. It will be as if she stepped out of your iPod, grabbed you by the shoulders, and said: “Girl, you know you better get yourself together!” SBW!

Tracks:

My Life. “Life can be only what you make it. When you’re feeling down you should never fake it. Say what’s on your mind and you’ll find in time that all the negative energy, it would all cease.”

Be Happy. “Life is too short to be tryin’ to play some games.” A. Men. Sis. Tah.

Just Fine. “So I like what I see when I’m lookin’ at me when I’m walkin’ past the mirror. Don’t stress through the night, at a time in my life ain’t worried ‘bout if you feel it. Got my head on straight. I got my vibe right. I ain’t gonna let you kill it. See I won’t change my life, my life, just fine! (Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, hoooo!)”

SBW: Jill Scott! OMG, I love this woman. I love her music, I love her HBO character Precious, love love LOVE!

Tracks:

The Real Thing. “Don’t play no games, that’ll ruin things, and make leave you on the street and you don’t want that. Don’t hesitate, I can make you great. Like Cleopatra Jones I can set you straight!”

Golden. “I’m taking my freedom, pullin’ it off the shelf. Putting it on my chain, wearin’ it ‘round my neck. I’m living my life like it’s golden, golden!”

SBW: Tina Turner. She’s an original SBW. Definition of.

Track:

I Might Have Been Queen. “I look up to the stars till I find my destiny. I look up to my past, a spirit running free. I look down, I look down and I’m there in history. Well I’m a soul survivor!!” (Oh, you should hear me sing this sh!t. I AM Tina Turner!)

SBW: Chaka Khan. This is the SBW theme song!

Track:

I’m Every Woman. “I ain’t braggin’ cuz I’m the one. Just ask me, and it shall be done.” Plus I love this video. She is too friggin’ cute!

FLOTUS flower

This picture just made me happy today, so I thought I’d share.

Jukebox: Rain, rain, go away!

I know it has been an eternity since I blogged last. Ok, I exaggerate – not quite an eternity. But a long, long time. Sorry!

But I have good excuses! For those who know, a big excuse has been my new side gig as an original dress maker (for some reason I am not ready to refer to myself as a “clothing designer.” Cuz you know, come on: Diane Von Furstenberg and Valentino and Michael Kors are clothing designers! I make clothes. Big difference.)

I have also been absolutely, crazy busy with work (thank you so much Justice Souter! I thought we were BFFs! You told me you liked the way I conceded stuff. How couldya do this to me?)

But alas, I have neglected COE, and for that I apologize. I will do a catch-up post – complete with the answer to who is the new member of my “list” shortly. But right now, we need a jukebox.

It has been rainy in DC for so long I feel like I need an ark! Really, it’s been, like a week of rainy weather! It was nicer today, but the rain returns tonight, and will continue tomorrow. So a few days ago I took all the songs in my iPod that deal with rain and made a playlist. And so it is now the Jukebox.

Can You Stand The Rain, New Edition. I have played this song a gabzillion times this week! LOVE it!!! What ever happened to Johnny Gill? Or Ralph Tresvant, for that matter? “Sunny days… every body loves them. Tell me, baby, can you stand the rain? Storms will come. This we know for sure (this we know for sure)”

Only Happy When It Rains, Garbage. I’ve been accused of being a miserable bitch a time or two in my life. So I play this track like a theme song. Cuz I’ll be Shirley any time. “Pour your misery down on me!”

Rainy Dayz, Mary J. Blige feat. Ja Rule. Ok, yeah, so I’m NOT a Ja Rule fan. But I LOVE Mary, and this is one of my favorite Mary tracks, so the Ja Rule part can’t ruin for me. I always play this on a rainy day. “Nobody loves the rain. Can’t stand it. But it always seems to fall. Baby, handle it!”

Fire and Rain, James Taylor. James Taylor is just brilliant. Brilliant.

Rain, Madonna. Am I the only one who really loves the Erotica era of Madonna? I think some of her best songs came from this time. This is one of them.

Rain King, Counting Crows. I learned the lyrics to this song driving though the streets of L.A. during Spring Break 1997 with my boyfriend. I’ll never forget that.

I Made It Thorugh The Rain, Barry Manilow. LOVE Barry! Love him!

I Can’t Stand the Rain, Tina Turner. Most people know this track as the one Missy Elliott sampled for The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly). But I’m old enough to remember the original. No one did it like Tina. Oh, and I love that muscle dude on keyboards!

Love Rain, Jill Scott. I love, love, LOVE Jill Scott. Anyone else watching The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agancy?! Love it! We’ll return to this topic later.

Purple Rain, Prince. Of course!

Rain, Heather Headley feat. Shabba. I like H.H. a lot. Good track.

It’s Raining Men, Weather Girls. It made me laugh when this track came up on my “rain” iPod search. And I needed that. God bless Mother Nature!

November Rain, Guns N’ Roses. I admit. I’m not a G N’ R fan. But I love this song!

Who’ll Stop the Rain, Credence Clearwater Revival. My name is Kim, I’m a black woman from Detroit, and I LOVE CCR!

Southern Rain, Cowboy Junkies. Ditto for CJ.

Right as Rain, Adele. LOVE Adele. “There ain’t no room in my bed as far as I’m concerned. So wipe that dirty smile off, will you?”

Chocolate Rain, Tay Zonday. Oh, come on how – no rain-theme playlist is complete without Tay Zonday! “Chocolate Rain! With your neighborhood insurance rates. Chocolate Rain! Made me cross the street the other day. Chocolate Rain! Worse than swearing, worse than calling names. Chocolate rain! Say it publicly and you’re insane.” Brilliance.

Tek-nical KO: Vote on ‘list’ vacancy

So I’ve told you about my “list” – my boyfriend and I each have a list of five people with whom, if the opportunity were to present itself, we could spend one naughty evening with full relationship impunity.

So anyway,  I once again have a list vacancy. And no one is more surprised than me.

As those who know me know, I have luuuuuuved me some Jason Varitek for years. Ever since sitting in my friend Theo’s Fenway Park seats behind the on deck circle and witnessing – up close – the wonders of the world known as his thighs. The hotness. The hotness!!!

Thus began my crush.

But watching the games this opening week, I haven’t been feeling him at all. Sure I was happy with his opening day homer. But as a Sox fan. Not as a list-keeper.

And I think I know why – I think a big part of my Tek crush had to do with the fact that he seemed like a nice guy. A good guy. A nice Michigan boy who made it in the big leagues, is universally respected by his teammates and opponents, has a nice family, and is generally otherwise upstanding. In a world of pro athlete asses, it was wonderful and refreshing.

But I don’t feel that way about him anymore. The whole leaving-his-wife-and-three-kids-for-a-NESN-blond-bimbo thing ruined that for me. Completely.  And I know that seems completely ridiculous given what the list is all about. I know. I know!  It doesn’t make sense. But it’s the truth so there you have it.

SO – that brings me to the fun part: finding a replacement. (I have some names in mind, but I’d like to hear your thoughts too. Vote below on who you think should replace Tek (Remember, George Clooney, Kiefer Sutherland, Gavin Rossdale and Javier Bardem are already on the list):

Clive Owen. Ok, I refuse to go see that stupid Julia Roberts movie, even though that yummy specimen of man Clive Owen is in it. (I got suckered into seeing that hot mess Closer a few years back. Fool me once, shame on – shame on you. Fool me – you can’t get fooled again!) But I do enjoy watching the trailer. He’s a hot hot hottie.

Gerard Butler. Ah, my King Leonidas. I remember going to see 300 with my BF very begrudgingly, and not being disappointed. At. All. Lordhammercy. Oh, and the Scottish accent is totes sexy, too.

Jon Hamm. Yes, my Mad Men hottie. The fact that his character is such a dirtbag, yet so, so sexy, disturbed me a little. Then he did SNL and FunnyOrDie.com and was so hilarious, that I loved him. Plus he’s a hot hot hottie.

Common. I have flirted with putting him on my list for a long time. I’m not sure of it’s his looks or his lyrical flow, but I love, love, LOVE him.

Vote! Or add other suggestions in the comments section.

All the kick-ass ladies, now put your hands up!

I realized this week that my “Kick-Ass Chick” list was in dire need of an update. I mean, my favorite woman ON THE PLANET wasn’t on there! Sheesh! So I have added four names to the list. (Sorry, none if them is Beyoncé. Nope.)

Michelle Obama. HOW could she have spent a second NOT on this list, right? From now on, she is the KAC by which all other KACs are measured. I love, love, LOVE her, and I love that the whole friggin’ world loves, loves, LOVES her. She is a rock star, exemplifying how being a well-educated career woman, a devoted partner and mother, and a fashionista (budgetista even! J. Crew? Holla!) are not mutually exclusive propositions.  Behind Beside the great president is a great woman, indeed! Even the Queen of England hugged her! Cuz she kicks ASS!

Kate Winslet. From her Oscar-worthy performances, to her endearing emotional response to winning awards – even in the face of snobby criticism, I realized this year how big a fan I am of this lady. Oh, and her performance on Extras shows that she is a friggin’ riot to boot. Awesome.

Tilda Swinton. Aside from being one of my favorite character actors out there – I will see anything with her in it, even if I know nothing about the film – I love Tilda for being the most fearless fashion icon out there right now. Like I said before on this blog, she somehow manages to embrace the most avant guard side of fashion while simultaneously giving a loud “Eff you!” to it. And it works. Amazingly! I think she is stunning and awesome, and she is my fashion hero.

Bethenny Frankel. Reality television is a vehicle that can make even the most accomplished, normal, respectable person look like a lunatic. It’s all about the editing. Yet somehow, Bethenny looks like pillar of witty, well-reasoned grace on this season of the Real Housewives of New York City. Every episode leaves you wishing she were your friend and that you’d chat with her over cocktails this weekend. She’s the quintessential no-bullshitter New Yorker that everyone wishes they knew. And how she puts up with the loonies on that show, I will never know.

Aries are awesome! And they’re everywhere!

Over the past week or so, I’ve noticed a lot of awesome people having birthdays, and realized that I share my astrological sign with some kick-ass folks. Holla! Here’s a sample:

Diana Ross. Ah, the original diva turns 65 today! I’m truly happy to share both my sign and my hometown with this lady. Happy Birthday Diana! I think I’ll watch Mahogany tonight in celebration. ADORE that movie. That Billy Dee scene. “Success is nothing without someone you love to share it with.” And Tony Perkins is so awesomely creepy. Oh, and I still want that hat!

Aretha Franklin. Ree Ree turned 67 yesterday. I still think Di is the original diva, but Aretha sure has her beat now. And that is all right. She is the queen, and if Beyonce or Tina Turner or anyone says otherwise, she will eat them set them straight! Because she is the magnificent Ree Ree! Who else can show up to the inauguration of the first black president, and leave everyone talking about her hat?! Oh, and she will NOT perform with the air conditioner on, people! You betta R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

Leonard Nimoy. Today’s his 78^th birthday! I’m a total Trekker, so this pleases me! Spock is second only to Data as my favorite Trek character, like, ever! (Capt. Jean Luc Pickard comes in a close third). Live long and prosper!

Sarah Jessica Parker. Carrie is an Aries! Her b-day was yesterday too. Of course – she is a writer who had great friends and loves shoes! Yay!

Elton John. Ok, it is confirmed – Aries is the diva sign! I need no further evidence. Happy belated b-day Sir Elton.

Chaka Khan. I know, right?!?! My new Zodiac theme song will be I’m Every Woman. Anything you want done, baby, I do it naaa-trallaaayyyy. (Whoa, whoa, whoooooa.)

ADDENDUM: Mariah Carey. Oh, good heavens! Mimi as born on March 27. I’m not even sure that there is enough room in universe to fit all these Aries divas under one sign. Maybe there are different levels: the VIP Aries get their own rooms and we mere mortal Aries are not allowed to look them in the eye or to speak to them directly.

My friends and family. I have a TON of Aries friends: Jason, Michael, Giovanna (Feliz cumpleaños today, lady!), and Angie, to name a few. Ethan gets a special shout-out because we share the same birthday. And my nieces Lauren and Connie are strong Aries girls too.  (So sorry if I forgot anyone!)

Others who share my actual birthday:

Celine Dion. I do not like this chick. I only list her to make my ‘diva’ point.

Tracy Chapman. Awesome!

Warren Beatty. Cool!

Eric Clapton. AWESOME!

Richard Dysart. This I dig, because LA Law is one reason I decided to go to law school. For realz.

John Astin. I share a birthday with Gomez Addams, y’all! Holla! (*Snap, snap*)