So I’ve told you about my “list” – my boyfriend and I each have a list of five people with whom, if the opportunity were to present itself, we could spend one naughty evening with full relationship impunity.
So anyway, I once again have a list vacancy. And no one is more surprised than me.
As those who know me know, I have luuuuuuved me some Jason Varitek for years. Ever since sitting in my friend Theo’s Fenway Park seats behind the on deck circle and witnessing – up close – the wonders of the world known as his thighs. The hotness. The hotness!!!
Thus began my crush.
But watching the games this opening week, I haven’t been feeling him at all. Sure I was happy with his opening day homer. But as a Sox fan. Not as a list-keeper.
And I think I know why – I think a big part of my Tek crush had to do with the fact that he seemed like a nice guy. A good guy. A nice Michigan boy who made it in the big leagues, is universally respected by his teammates and opponents, has a nice family, and is generally otherwise upstanding. In a world of pro athlete asses, it was wonderful and refreshing.
But I don’t feel that way about him anymore. The whole leaving-his-wife-and-three-kids-for-a-NESN-blond-bimbo thing ruined that for me. Completely. And I know that seems completely ridiculous given what the list is all about. I know. I know! It doesn’t make sense. But it’s the truth so there you have it.
SO – that brings me to the fun part: finding a replacement. (I have some names in mind, but I’d like to hear your thoughts too. Vote below on who you think should replace Tek (Remember, George Clooney, Kiefer Sutherland, Gavin Rossdale and Javier Bardem are already on the list):
Clive Owen. Ok, I refuse to go see that stupid Julia Roberts movie, even though that yummy specimen of man Clive Owen is in it. (I got suckered into seeing that hot mess Closer a few years back. Fool me once, shame on – shame on you. Fool me – you can’t get fooled again!) But I do enjoy watching the trailer. He’s a hot hot hottie.
Gerard Butler. Ah, my King Leonidas. I remember going to see 300 with my BF very begrudgingly, and not being disappointed. At. All. Lordhammercy. Oh, and the Scottish accent is totes sexy, too.
Jon Hamm. Yes, my Mad Men hottie. The fact that his character is such a dirtbag, yet so, so sexy, disturbed me a little. Then he did SNL and FunnyOrDie.com and was so hilarious, that I loved him. Plus he’s a hot hot hottie.
Common. I have flirted with putting him on my list for a long time. I’m not sure of it’s his looks or his lyrical flow, but I love, love, LOVE him.
Vote! Or add other suggestions in the comments section.
1. I support the removal of any Red Sox from any lists other than, “List of Evil Things”; 2. I voted for Jon Hamm. Mmmm…mmmm….good.
Hamm looks too greasy, Common tries to hard to be a badass and Butler is a pale version of Clive. Hence, I’d go with Owen.
Now a serious question:
Since almost every couple has some sort of similar list, I must wonder what will happen if the opportunity actually and randomly presents itself? Would you really go for it? Would / can you forgive your significant other if he does?
I once met someone on my list years ago (Nomar Garciaparra – I’ve since developed much better taste) and I was a very good girl (not that I had a shot). My boyfriend once met someone on his list and didn’t recognize her in person (Elizabeth Hurley). She struck up a convo with him in a restaurant and he blew her off! Afterwards he was not happy with himself. Love that story!