It was a Hot August Night, and the Neil Diamond concert was awesome! Really, he sounded great, looked fit and spry (he was still doing the crazy hip wiggle thing when he played guitar) and played for more than two hours straight in one of the best concerts I’ve seen in a long time.
I’m not even sure I can say that that my ‘Schmaltz Trifecta’ is truly complete, because it wasn’t really the schmaltzy Neil who showed up last night. It was the 60s- and early 70s-era rock n’ roll, folky Neil performing most of the time. Of the dozens of songs he did, only two - You Don’t Bring Me Flowers and Love On The Rocks - were from his cheesy days.
He opted against performing most of his softer stuff - like September Morn or Heartlight or Hello, Again or Yesterday’s Songs - and instead focused on his early catalog, busting out Kentucky Woman (yay!!!) and Brother Love’s Traveling Salvation Show and Cracklin’ Rosie and Thank the Lord For The Night Time and Crunchy Granola Suite and other songs of that era. And of course he did I’m A Believer and Cherry, Cherry and Sweet Caroline, all of which got everyone on their feet. (I and the woman sitting next to me got the rather stodgy crowd in our section - mostly corporate tickets - to get up during Forever In Blue Jeans. Sitting during that song is just unacceptable.)
Even my boyfriend - who bought the tickets for me, but still protested the fact he had to go - was on his feet dancing when Neil sang Forever in Blue Jeans.
Oh, and there was I Am… Said and Solitary Man and Play Me. So, so good! And even the obligatory three songs he did from his new album were reminiscent of his early stuff.
He also looked pretty good! I think he’s shed some weight. Compared to others of his relative age group who I’ve seen perform (like Barry Manilow) who looked a bit stiff, Neil was shaking it. He was moving so much I couldn’t even get a clear shot of him with the camera I snuck in despite threat of confiscation.
If you get a chance to see him this tour, GO!!
I already told you that I’m off to Michigan this weekend for my Dad’s birthday party (I still haven’t picked a song to sing. I’d better get on that or I’ll end up singing the Mariah tune my sister wants. I have picked a song!! I’m not telling what it is, in case any family members are reading, because I want it to be a surprise. I’ll tell you next week.)
But anyway, I booked my flight a coupla weeks ago, and I didn’t pick a seat at the time. I didn’t think about it, because my profile specifies my preference for aisle seats, and I usually get one without actually selecting my individual seat.
But last night I checked my reservation, and I have no seat assignment. So I go to pick a seat, and I got a little surprise.
All the available seats on this Northwest flight are either:
Exit row seats, which are, according to Northwest: “Available to qualified customers with WorldPerks Elite or partner Elite status and business fare purchase.” Since when do you have to be so special to sit in an exit row? I usually get those seats by asking. Alas, I am not so qualified for this flight;
Premium seats, which are, according to the airline: “Available to customers with WorldPerks Elite or partner Elite status, business fare purchases and customers with disabilities or specific needs.” Again, not qualified; or (my personal favorite)
Coach Choice Seats, which are, according to Northwest: “available for purchase within 24 hours of departure. (WorldPerks Elite and SkyTeam Elite members may select these seats at no charge).”
Available - for purchase?!
Keep in mind, none of these seats are first or business class seats. They are all in the coach cabin with everybody else. But for some inexplicably stupid reason, they are not available unless you are an “elite” member, or unless you wait until 24 hours before the flight and PAY MORE MONEY?! So what exactly does the multi-hundred-dollar plane fare that I have already paid get me? A chance to get on the flight? An opportunity to buy a seat? This blows my friggin’ mind. My lawyer mind may be a bit rusty, but my instinct is that this has got to amount to a colorable claim of violation of some consumer statute. It’s just wrong!
This makes me so angry. I hate flying as it is, and this is just like rubbing salt in the wound.
And I’m in between a rock and a hard place, because missing my Dad’s party is out of the question. I’m flying out the morning of the party (because I couldn’t friggin’ afford any of the flights that would have gotten me out there the night before). I totally am going to end up paying more just to be sure I get a seat, because if this bad boy is oversold and I don’t get a seat, I’m screwed. Airlines are evil. Just evil.
I don’t know if anyone else does this, but one of my favorite things to do before a concert is to pick several long-shot songs, and hope the artist will perform at least one of them. I go in expecting not to hear them, but if I do, it’s super exciting!
Oh, did I mention that I was EXCITED about the Neil Diamond concert tonight? No? Well I’m EXCITED!!!
Anyway, here is my long-shot list. I have a whole bunch. This is Neil, for goodness sakes!
Shilo. Honestly, I didn’t think this would be on my list, because I didn’t think it would be a long shot. But I took a peek on the interwebs and I didn’t find it on any of the set lists put out by people who have seen this tour so far. That really surprises me. How can ya not do Shilo?! “Papa said he’d love to be with you, if he had the time. So you turn to the only friend you can find…there in your mind.” I’m hoping he’s just waiting for tonight’s gig to surprise me.
Kentucky Woman. “Kentucky Woman! She get to know you! She going to own you!” This would be so much fun.
Hello, Again. This is a long shot, I think, because he’d much more likely to do Love On the Rocks from this album. (America is a given). But like I said, this song moves me to tears, so it would be a treat to hear it.
Glory Road. “I’m comin’, Ride by thumbin’, Get by bummin’, I’m on my way!”
Heartlight. I know. I know! I can’t help it.
September Morn. Good, good cheese.
Red, Red Wine. I’m not seeing this one on recent playlists either, and that is simply shocking. Oh, this would make my DAY!
Girl, You’ll Be A Woman Soon. Oh, Neil, you tease me so by only singing this song occasionally. Please please please sing it tonight! Please!
Of course if he gets up there and sings the America twenty times I’ll be happy. But any of these would be icing on the cake.
I am saddened today by the news that two of my favorite entertainers, Morgan Freeman and Bernie Mac, are both in the hospital (Freeman after a car accident, and Mac with pneumonia), and one or both or neither of them may or may not be in serious or critical condition or near death (publicists are so confusing!).
I’m just hoping they are both on the mend. I send them good thoughts, and in their honor, I bring you two of my favorite theatrical masterpieces: The Electric Company (oh, I watched that joint religiously every Sunday morning as a kid!) and House Party 3 (total scene stealer).
UPDATE: As I listened to Neil’s Glory Road double CD over the weekend, I realized I made three glaring Jukebox omissions. Not that the list was meant to be exhaustive, but these three can’t not be on it. So now the list is a nice, round 20 songs.
Excited! Excited! The Neil Diamond concert is Tuesday! So I have the all-Diamond jukebox for ya! Yay! Yay!
As an aside, I think it is absolutely criminal that this man is not in the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame. What kind of cockamamie crap is that?! Cherry, Cherry was the inspiration for What I Like About You by the Romantics, for heaven’s sake! And how many Neil tracks have been covered by, oh I don’t know, everyone! He shoulda been up in there long, long, before Madonna. Seriously. That sh*t is bananas.
Ok, picking 10 Neil songs is impossible, so this is an extended playlist:
Cherry, Cherry, Neil Diamond. I have three super, super duper favorite ND songs, and this is one of them. I friggin’ love this song. It’s one of the songs that I play when I’m in a bad mood because it’s guaranteed to cheer me up and make me do a little happy hippy dance. Which looks something like this:
Shilo, Neil Diamond. Super, super favorite ND song #2! Although the lyrics are kinda sad (poor kid has no friends so he makes up an imaginary one), for some reason it makes me happy. Shilo is also on the short list of names I’d give my next dog.
Cracklin’ Rosie, Neil Diamond. Any song with a lyric like: “Cracklin’ Rose, you’re a store-bought woman; but you make me sing like a guitar hummin’” is all right with me.
I Am . . . I Said, Neil Diamond. Good stuff. Anyone who has ever felt lonely knows Neil hit this one on the head. So perfect. Neil is totes on my list of songwriters whose talent I wish I could steal.
Glory Road, Neil Diamond. I played this a lot when I lived in NYC. “Got all my worldlies here in a sack; Looking for something; Knowing that it ain’t here where I’m at.” I played I Am . . . I Said there a lot too. Neil was like a friend who helped me get through it.
Girl, You’ll Be a Woman Soon, Neil Diamond. Super duper fave #3!! If you only know the cover of this track from Pulp Fiction, you really need to click this link and get to know the original. I do like the Urge Overkill cover, but the original track, in my opinion, embodies all of what makes Neil so great - the music, the lyrics, the vocals. Awesomeness.
Red, Red Wine, Neil Diamond. Again, luvs me some UB40, but the original kicks ass. You haven’t lived until you sing a drunken rendition of this song with friends. Wine drunk, of course.
UPDATE: OK, before we get to the Schmaltzy stuff, here are the three tracks that I should have put on the original list:
Solitary Man, Neil Diamond. Ok, I have four super favorite Neil songs. This is one of the best songs ever written, IMHO.
Heartlight, Neil Diamond. Lest you think I’m not a fan to the cheesy Neil, I profess my love for the E.T. song. The awesomeness about this is that it wasn’t written for the film and it’s not on the soundtrack. He wrote and recorded it after seeing the movie. How cool is that? Oh, come on - you cried too when ET left Eliot and went home. Keep it real!
Song Sung Blue, Neil Diamond. Ditto the above, except with bleu cheese. “Funny thing, you can sing it with a cry in your voice. And before you know it, start to feelin’ good - you simply got no choice.”
America, Neil Diamond. Ah, yes. I told you about seeing The Jazz Singer with my mom, who also is also a Neil fan. This is from that film. “Everywhere around the world, be comin’ to America!”
Hello, Again, Neil Diamond. Also from this film. The lyrics are so lovely that I find it hard to listen to it and not get teary. I know, I’m a total dork.
So the BF and I bid his parents a warm farewell until next in-law season. After a brutal week at work, and because I’m still not fully over the stomach illness from hell, I’m planning on spending the weekend doing absolutely nothing but napping and watching TV to recover. I need a mind vacay. But first, here’s the stuff that got me through the week of July 27, 2008:
Mad Men. One of my favorite shows made its return this week! Yay! I love the writing, love to hate the characters, and absolutely adore the fashions. Women were oppressed as hell in the 60s, but they sure looked good! I want Joan’s wardrobe, but certainly not her life.
Mozilla Firefox. I officially hate Internet Explorer. This week IE let me down, not allowing me to get onto websites I needed to visit (I do work in the communications industry) as well as websites I wanted to visit (I couldn’t get on Jezebel or Pink Is The New Blog! For real? How am I supposed to function like that?!). I’d get some effed up error message. Neither I nor my office IT guys could figure out what was wrong, so someone suggested I use a different browser. I went to Firefox and it was awesome! So much faster, no error messages, it transferred over all my bookmarks, and gives me no trouble when I upload photos and video on the blog. No more IE for me!! Hey, Microsoft - you suck!
Headbands. It has been humid and above 90 degrees all week, with a few torrential downpours thrown in for good measure. Not a good hair week for curly-haired DC residents like me, so headbands have pretty much been a staple for me this week. I have some cute ones from Ann Taylor and J.Crew that were on sale (with colorful prints that go well with a plain, white shirt), and also the elastic-y ones from the drug store (that go with pretty much anything).
Kraft Mac and Cheese. My tummy woes continue, so this is my choice soft food of the week. It’s the cheesiest!
I actually have a ton of work to do, but I keep seeing stuff that compels me to comment. Like this.
Y’all know I luvs my Red Sox. I have never had a problem with Manny Ramirez. Did I think he was a jerk? Probably. But did I care? Not really - as long as he kept swinging the bat the way he almost always has. I turned a blind eye to his questionable fielding skills and his off-the-field antics.
But things have changed. I’m tired of this fool and I’m done. He thinks the Sox are mistreating him? By doing what? Giving him the opportunity to win two World Series Championship rings? Paying him $160 million? Oh, poor thing!
You know what, Manny? I send you the same message I sent to Nomah (who I was once convinced I would marry) a few years ago: Bye! Don’t let the door hit ya in the arse! Oh, and STFU! (Oh, and how about winning the game instead of writing posters for the camera? Hmm? Or is $160 million not enough for you to do that? Hmm? Idiot.) Florida Los Angeles can have you!
Ok, so I was pretty excited about the prospect of Disney making a movie featuring its first black princess. I know there was some trouble reported early on, and the writers ended up redoing parts of it. (Among other things, I’m glad the original title of The Frog Princess was changed to The Princess And the Frog. Much better!) But I figured in 2008, they could come up with something that was cute, fun, and free of racial stereotypes.
I apparently thought wrong.
Watching this trailer, I found myself - not wanting to find unnecessary fault with the thing - suppressing my disappointment with the fact that the princess pronounced the word anything as “anythang” and kissing as “kissin’”. I didn’t want to be hyper-critical or overly racially sensitive. After all, it’s in New Orleans, so she’s just southern, right?
Then the firefly opened his nearly-toothless mouth:
What the hell? Was Uncle Remus reincarnated as a damn bug? Really Disney? Really? I think I’m saving my $10 bucks for something other than a ticket to see this thing.
Ok, as many of you know, my favorite cartoon character is Marvin the Martian. Those old Bugs Bunny cartoons featuring his hijinks with Bugs and Daffy are a priceless treasure, and should never, ever be messed with.
Well, someone is messing with them. There is a new cartoon and live action (!) movie in the works based on the character. Let me say for the record that this is the stupidest idea since The Grinch Stole Christmas movie with Jim Carrey. It’s just bad! Leave Marvin alone!
