Rolling Stone is full of crap

Y’all know I love musical lists. So when Rolling Stone made a list of the “The 100 Greatest Singers of All Time” I was all giddy with excitement.

But, I gotta say, the list puzzles me. I know all lists are subjective and subject to argument. But some things about this one just makes me wonder. What criteria were used?

I mean, is Bob Dylan one of the greatest musical geniuses this world has ever seen? Sure. Is he a great singer. Um, no. But there he is in the #7 spot. Is the list of most influential singers? Then I’d agree. But RS said “best.” I’m perplexed.

Anywho, here are my initial thoughts about the list, good and bad.

The really good stuff about the list:

-Aretha Franklin tops it.

-The essay about Aretha Franklin’s awesomeness was written by Mary J. Blige. I have always said that Mary J. is the Gen X version of Aretha. (The fact that she is #100 on the list is bulls***, but I degress…)

-It includes oft-forgotten artists like Curtis Mayfield, Dusty Springfield, Bobby “Blue” Bland, and Donny Hathaway. Nice!

-It crosses genres. Buddy Holly is on the same list as Björk. Good stuff.

The really bad stuff about the list:

-Only 24 of the 100 are women. I agree with Jezebel that that is total bulls***.

-Some of the omissions are shocking. More on that below.

-Hey RS: Look at the bottom ten on your list. Now grab Annie Lennox, Karen Carpenter, Patti LaBelle, B.B. King, Joe Cocker, Stevie Nicks, Mary J. Blige, and yes, even Steven Tyler (listen to Dream On, people!!), and pull them all the @#%& out of the bottom and put them in the top half, at least!! I mean really!! They’re below Morrissey?! What the hell?!

Here are, in my opinion, but a few singers who shoulda been on this list, no matter what criteria were used:

Ella Fitzgerald. Ok, I’ll give RS Aretha for the #1 spot. But in what universe is Ella not number two? (Props to RS that the other four women on my Vocal Wish List are on their list too. But Ella is still a glaring omission.)

UPDATE: I woke up and realized a HUGE omission, almost as big as Ella’s:

Barbra Streisand. That’s right, no BARBRA! I don’t even know what to say. This omission makes me think that the list is such bulls*** that’s it’s not even worth commenting on anymore. I’m sad that it’s going to be cited by people as authority for the next 50 years. 

Bon Scott and/or Brian Johnson. These were actually suggested by my boyfriend, and may have something to do with the fact that we’re seeing AC/DC this weekend. But it raises a good point – yesterday I thought – because it’s Rolling Stone – maybe the list is slanted towards rock artists at the expense of other genres. But that can’t be true – no rock list would omit Bon. Brian’s nothing to sneeze at either. Plus the list includes blues, jazz, r&b, folk singers. Steve Perry’s on it, for Pete’s sake! (I agree with that choice completely, but it shows that even easy listening is included!)

Levi Stubbs. They included David Ruffin, and good for them! Levi’s absence is still noticed. Listen to Baby I Need Your Lovin’ or Bernadette and then tell me what’s what. (The man voiced Audrey II the plant in Little Shop of Horrors! Come on!)

Chaka Khan. Her voice is a wonder of the world.

Mahalia Jackson. I defy you to watch Imitation of Life and not cry when Mahalia sings in this scene. I defy you not to cry whenever Mahalia sings.

Eddie Vedder. I mean, if you’re gonna have Bono and Kurt Cobain, how can you forget Eddie? I mean damn!

Sarah Vaughan. She could sing half of the people on this list under a table.

Diana Ross. Ok, she isn’t the strongest singer on the planet – but I sense that this list is more about the biggest hit makers, or most iconic singers, or most notable singers, or most prolific singers (because really, can Bono really belt it?). In any of those cases, Diana qualifies. She ruled 60s, 70s, and a good chunk of the 80s charts.

UPDATE: On the subway ride home I thought of more: Roberta Flack; Neil Diamond; Ann Wilson of Heart; Billie Holiday; Billy Joel.

What do you think? Comment away!

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VOTE!!!

I’ve always been a faithful voter. After all, it took not one but two amendments to the Constitution to give me that right. I’ve always taken that right very seriously.

But never in my lifetime has a vote been this important.

If you are reading this and you haven’t voted yet, STOP. Put down the laptop and go to your polling station. Get your vote on. No matter who you support – go vote today! Our future depends on it.

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Open letter to Joe Dumars

Dear Joe,

I have been a steadfast fan of yours for over 20 years, and I think you are a thoughtful, intelligent man. So as an admirer and lifelong Pistons fan, I make this plea to you from the bottom of my heart:

The city of Detroit has enough thugs. Please don’t add another.

Sincerely,

Elleen

P.S. – if you sign this punk I’m setting my Pistons jersey on fire.

P.P.S – Just keep Chauncey. Please?!?!

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Goodbye Sting, Hello Javier!!

OMG,  I meant to post this WEEKS ago. And for some reason I’m unusually weepy today (and I’m not a crier!) so I need to cheer myself up. And this is just the thing to do it!

So I talked about my ‘list’ already. You can read about it here.

Anyway, I have made a trade. Sting, who I love dearly, and who was an original list member until (11 years he was on it!) now, has to be let go. I’m sorry, but it’s unavoidable. Cuz I only get five, and I needed to make room.

A few weeks back I saw the film Vicky Cristina Barcelona. It was better than I thought it would be. (I’m not the biggest Woody Allen fan). I really enjoyed it. But what I really, REALLY enjoyed, was looking at this hot specimen of man:

I. Had. No. IDEA he was that HOT! I had only (to my knowledge) seen Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men in which he played a creepy looking sociopathic killer with an even creepier haircut. I had no idea that the hotness lay underneath!! I’m not saying he’s cute. “Cute” is not the right word. He’s HOT. Smoking. OMG, this picture doesn’t even capture it. It’s an intangible quality that still photography doesn’t grasp. Go see Vicky Cristina Barcelona and you will know what I’m talking about. If you saw the film, I would have totally been the Scarlett Johansson character during that scene in the restaurant, and said: “Yes. Yes. Now. Let’s go. Forget my friend – she can stay here. Let’s GO!” No doubt.

So to recap, my list now consists of, in order of seniority (on the list, not age):

George Clooney. The last original member of the list. My very first list in 1997 consisted of George Clooney, Sting, John F. Kennedy, Jr. (I know!! Heartbreaking!!), Lenny Kravitz and Nomar Garciaparra. Looking back, that was a pretty good list!! I had good taste.

Jason Varitek. O Captain, My Captain! Some of my friends contend that his hotness if fading, but I disagree. I think he’s a total cutie and his physique is a wonder of the world. And his devotion to my team moves me to tears (See?!?! What is wrong with me?!?! Stop crying!!!) Theo – sign him!!! I’m not even kidding…

Kiefer Sutherland. Oh, I can go on and on. My exemplar of “Late Onset Hotness.” The new season of 24 cannot get here fast enough! And OMG his dog is cute too!! *Swoon*

Gavin Rossdale. I feel a little dirty for having him on the list since Gwen is a Kick-Ass Chick. But he’s hot. It’s not my fault. Even if he named his kid Zuma. Still hot.

Javier Bardem. See above. Sigh. So, so hot.

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Catching up after the weekend vacay

I literally just got back from my Colorado weekend a few hours ago. We were supposed to come back yesterday, but more on that later. It feels like it’s been an eternity since I blogged, so here is a wrap:

A bubbling brook I passed on a hike/stroll

Colorado, Part I. OMG, my 48-hour Beaver Creek, Colo. vacay was AWESOME! I packed those hours with hiking, strolling (which is what “hiking” turned into once the altitude sickness hit me), eating yummy food and spa-ing.

Oh, the spa! I literally spent a collective 6+ hours in the spa of our hotel, and every second of it was needed. Whatever stress the hourlong pedicure (awesme) or the hot stone massage (awesome!!) didn’t eviscerate, the cool scent-infused heated salt pools, rain showers and steam room did. So, so great. And so, so pretty!

View of Beaver Creek Village from our hotel. That car is made of Lego pieces. Yeah, dunno why.

Before dinner our first night there, my BF gave me an anniversary gift – a really pretty strand of round freshwater pearls, and matching pearl stud earrings. I forgot to take a picture of them so I can’t show them to you, but trust me – they are lovely. I felt bad because I didn’t bring my gift to him with me because I thought we were doing that on our actual anniversary which is tomorrow.

Oh, and the coolest-thing-in-a-girly-way about Colorado? The fact that I washed, blow-dried and flat-ironed my hair in UNDER 30 MINUTES!!!! Seriously, that is unheard of! In DC, it takes me at least an hour and a half. On a slightly humid day, add 30 minutes more. In August, put it in a bun – it’s not even worth it. But at 9,000 feet, my bob was straight and sleek in no time. So cool!

Levi Stubbs. This is hard. Remember how I said there was only one entertainer who I’d never met but whose death brought me to tears (George Harrison)? Make that two. When I heard the news over the weekend that Four Tops lead singer Levi Stubbs passed away I was completely heartbroken. I have already talked about how much Reach Out, I’ll Be There has meant to me. So much more than just a tune. It would have been just another track without the soul and emotion Stubbs put into it. I managed to keep it together for a while without crying as I listened to the Tops on the plane this morning- all through Bernadette (my second favorite Tops track. Phil Specter once said that this tune was like a black man singing Dylan. So spot on), and Baby I need Your Lovin’ (almost lost it then). It’s The Same Old Song broke me down, and my Reach Out I was completely in tears. There will never be another voice like that. He was amazing.

Colin Powell. I have always respected Colin Powell. I respected him more when he resigned from a position in an administration whose policies he no longer agreed with. That is hard to do. Mad props.

But Sunday he became one of my favorite people on the planet. Not just for what he did – although I think it was awesome – but also what he said. This particular part of his remarks on Meet the Press brought me to tears, and made me so proud of Powell as an American and as a human:

“I’m also troubled by, not what Senator McCain says, but what members of the party say, and it is permitted to be said. Such things as ‘Well you know that Mr. Obama is a Muslim.’ Well the correct answer is ‘He is not a Muslim, he’s a Christian, he’s always been a Christian.’ But the really right answer is ‘What if he is? Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country?’ The answer is ‘No. That’s not America.’ Is there something wrong with some 7-year old Muslim-American kid believing that he or she can be president? Yet I have heard senior members of my own party drop the suggestion he’s a Muslim and he might be associated with terrorists. This is not the way we should be doing it in America.

“I feel strongly about this particular point because of a picture I saw in a magazine. It was a photo-essay about troops who were serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. And one picture at the tail end of this photo essay was of a mother in Arlington Cemetery and she had her head on the headstone of her son’s grave. And as the picture focused in you can see the writing on the headstone. And it gave his awards, Purple Heart, Bronze Star, showed that he died in Iraq, gave his date of birth, date of death. He was 20 years old. And then at the very top of the headstone, it didn’t have a Christian cross, it didn’t have a Star of David. It had a crescent and a star of the Islamic faith. And his name was Karim Rashad Sultan Khan. And he was an American, he was born in New Jersey, he was 14 at the time of 9/11 and he waited until he can go serve his country and he gave his life.”

So. Well. Said.

I kept from panicking on the prop plane by being an amateur photographer

Colorado, Part II. So after departing our lovely little hotel Sunday and hauling ass to the Eagle/Vail airport (we were running a wee bit late!) we arrive to discover out flight as been canceled. And that we could not get home before Monday. The American Airlines  people (who seemed oddly flustered by the whole situation, considering cancellations cannot be uncommon at an airport like Eagle/Vail) told us our best bet would be to get to Denver (on a United Flight) and try for a flight home in the a.m. So after a frantic call to our dog sitter – who thankfully agreed to look after our little pooch for one more night – that is what we did.  At least it gave me a chance to snap a good pic of snow-capped Rocky Mountains from our plane (which had propellers, people!! Ok for over water. NOT ok for over mountains). Once we were at our airport hotel with our airport voucher-subsidized room service meals in front of us, we watched Game 7 of the ALCS. Which brings me to the

Red Sox. I wasn’t going to write anything at all about this, because I usually need a 3- to 4-week blackout period where I ignore the existence of baseball after the Sox have a season-ending loss. But I have to say that this past week is the PERFECT example of the Sox’s inability to do anything easily. They do not win easily. There is all sorts of drama and Rolaids moments that make fans want to hurl themselves in front of a bus.

The Sox also have a penchant for finding the most excruciating way to lose. I had made peace with the end of the season after Game 4 and the ALCS. It was over. It was time for me to focus on something else (football? Nope, I’m a Lions fan. Hockey? The Red Wings are good! Oh, wait, I’m black. Nope. Almost NBA season! Yay! Go Pistons!)

I was fine. But noooooo, the Sox had to come from behind go to Game 7 and get us all excited.  Nine innings and 3 boxes of Rolaids later, I’m hating life again. But that is the life that I signed up for when I became a fan more than 13 years ago. I made my bed. So I’ll cry in it.

Oh, but I have to say this to Theo Epstein: If you do not sign Jason Varitek I will seriously entertain the notion of becoming a Tigers fan. I’m not kidding. Sign him!

Home at last. So one Frontier Airlines trip later, there I was at my desk. Not the first stop I wanted to make on my return home, but oh, well – at least I had work-appropriate clothing with me. At least I have a nive, fresh new episode of Mad Men waiting for my on the DVR when I get home. I’ll watch that tonight while reconnecting with my little superstar pooch.

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I need a Colorado rocky mountain high!

Shh...don't tell anyone this is from the spring Balenciaga line! Maybe I'll win!

I was going to blog about the Project Runway finale and the presidential debate, but you know what? I’m worn out and I don’t feel like it. I’ll just say this – the person I wanted to win PR did not, and the person I wanted to win the debate did (IMO). And in both PR and the debate there was someone else who annoyed the f*** out of me. That sums it up. At least I never have to see Kenley again.

So now I’m turning my attention to lovely Vail, Colo., where my BF and I will be spending the long weekend. It will be nice to get away.

So I reveal something else y’all might not know about me: I luuuuuuuvs me son John Denver. LOVE him. Always have. I’ll be listening to this on the plane. I hope you have a nice weekend too!

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I dream of Nino

I am sitting in the library doing research. The stuff I’m looking for can’t be found on electronic databases, so there I sit amid a huge stack of papers, books, and manual indexes, in search of the information I seek.

I look to my left, and am surprised to find sitting right next to me none other than Justice Antonin Scalia, also hard at work.

I’m shocked and a more than a bit nervous, but I manage to say something to him.

“Justice Scalia,” I start, extending a hand to shake. “Wow, this is really an honor to meet you!”

He glares at me, ignoring my outstretched hand and scowls: “Well, it certainly has not been an honor for me, as I have been unable to get anything done because of all the noise you have been making in here! You, my dear, are very discourteous!”

And with that he picks up his stuff and storms off. Some of the library’s staff scurries after him offering apologies, while others just scowl at me. Mortified, I leave the library.

Then I woke up.

This, my friends, has been a recurring dream of mine in one form or another: I annoy Justice Scalia ins some way, he yells at me, and I want to die. I had another one last night.

It’s been going on for about 18 months or so now. I don’t know why I get them. I guess Scalia is a bit scary – it’s not unreasonable that he can become a boogie man. I can understand a dream or two, but I’ve had at least 10 of them, which I find a little wired. Any amateur psychologists out there want to take a crack at it?

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Reunion

So this past weekend was my law school reunion. The thought of being 10 years out of law school was a bit depressing. But then my brother told me he’s going to his 30-year high school reunion next month and that cheered me up and made me feel young again.

Anyway, reunion was really, really fun primarily for two reasons:

(1) I was in Boston, my adopted hometown, and it felt really good to be home. Even more so because the Red Sox are in the playoffs. Watching them win Friday in the shadow of Fenway Park was awesome.

(2) I saw my dearest friends in the world. Really, I did not like law school. Hated it. It was a crappy, miserable, excruciating experience more often than it was not. And it put me in the kind of debt that I can’t ever imagine getting rid of. BUT it was worth it if only because I met my boyfriend of 12 years there, and made my best friends for life.

Anyway, here are a few observations about the weekend:

-I really like Tim, even when he says mean things like Fenway Park looks like a factory. It does NOT! Overall, he is very nice.

-Law school was like high school in many ways. Thus reunion can make some people revert to high school-like behavior, which is too bad. But overall, everyone was really nice and well-behaved. And no one showed up dirty.

-I was really nervous about talking to some people. Particularly, I wasn’t psyched about explaining that I don’t practice law anymore and changed careers entirely. But it was good. I worried for nothing.

-Big props to the non-alum significant others who came to reunion and managed to have a great time and make an effort to get to know people. That is a hard thing to do, and many did it well. Some others, not so well.

-Overall, no one looked worse than they did 10 years ago. Some people looked WAY better. I mean shockingly good. I think I look pretty much the same, add a few pounds, and that’s ok with me.

-One professor remembered me. Which is one more than I thought would remember me. Despite the fact that my name is officially engraved on the law school building. In two places.

-Staying with Theo and Amy is awesome because it always comes with awesomely gracious hostesses, yummy frozen food, and orange Fanta.

-The InterContinental Hotel Boston is beautiful! But the food absolutely blows. As does the house wine. I had to order a sandwich and a glass of decent vino in the hotel bar after leaving the $75 gala. That just pisses me off.

-Patent leather shoes that were once danceably comfortable can become torture traps if you go almost two years without wearing them. Ow.

-I always look drunk or half-asleep in pictures. Even when I’m sober. That is annoying. Especially because my friends are ridiculously photogenic and I look like their weird, short-bus buddy in every shot.

-Babies are very, very sweet and very, very cute when they don’t belong to me.

-I wish I had the energy and rebellious spirit of Addison Walsh.

-When I’m away from my dog for more than 24 hours I miss him madly.

-My brother’s love for bear hunting is simultaneously hilarious and terrifying.

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Ok, I’m back!

Oh, my GOODNESS, y’all, work is kicking my ass this week! That is why I’ve been so remiss in my blogging. So, so sorry! Please know I would much rather be telling you my mindless thoughts on current affairs and the minor events of my life. Let’s get to my abbreviated, stream-of-consciousness catch-up post and then I promise to be more on the ball in the future, ok?

Black Kids show. So I almost couldn’t get anyone to go see the Black Kids with me last Friday. Between my local friends being out of town, to people who wanted to stay home and watch the debate instead (come on people, get on the DVR train!), I almost went alone. But luckily my buddy Nadine was able to go with me. I was the oldest gal in the place by a long, shot, and my high heeled boots were a bad choice for the hot, standing-room-only venue. But the show was great (despite some bad mixing, which wasn’t the band’s fault). The band looked like they were genuinely having a blast there, and so was I. I need to go to more concerts – later this month I’m seeing Aretha Franklin (holla!) and next month is ACDC (rock on!).

Project Runway. I friggin’ cannot STAND Kenley. Ugh!! After all of her laughing at other people when their designs were criticized, she makes a “hip hop” clown outfit and gets defensive about it?! LL Cool J?!?! Bsh plz! Oh – and she was rude to my Tim Gunn?!?! Oh, no! Oh, when she wasn’t voted off I was pizzed! She’d better go home tonight. But at least third-person-referring Suede went home. I was tired of him too. I really, really want Jerrell to win. He’s been my favorite ever since that time months ago when he said of Terri: “She has two faces. Count ‘em: one, two. Two faces and four patterns. That’s it. Don’t trust the b*tch.” Love him!

90210. What did I tell y’all? Drama! This show makes me so happy. I literally fast-forward through all the teenage drama story lines (thank you, inventor of the DVR!) and go straight for the Kelly-baby-daddy stuff. Good show in 15 minutes! Great for on-the-go folks like me!

My most anticipated show of the year. There are few things that excite me more than the upcoming premiere of Bravo!’s Real Housewives of Atlanta. Have you seen the trailers for that? OMG, set your TiVos now because there will be discussion here!

Politics. Oh, good gracious, people! This election season is like waiting for test results to find out whether you have a terminal illness. You have to wait for results that will either thrill you beyond belief, or be the worst news you’ve ever heard in your life. Ugh! At least we have Tina Fey! Love her!

The New Benji. So I always tell my friends with cute kids (they are really cute, too!) that they should get them agents and pimp them out on baby food jars or diaper labels or something. Being one to practice what she preaches, I am now trying to make my dog famous. Check him out here. The editors will have to be crazy not to make him cutie of the day! Think good thoughts! He’s really excited!

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Catching up: (Not So) Good Times, 90210, Women and Jack!

Here’s a look inside my mind right now (scary place, I know)  (UPDATED to include something I left out of the original post):

Don’t go, Amy! OMG, y’all, Amy Poehler is leaving Saturday Night Live!! Nooo!!! I mean, I’m happy she is having a baby and all, but there will be no reason to watch the show after that. She is the only thing that kept me tuning in after Tiny Fey’s departure. This saddens me. SNL will officially be as bad as that dark period circa 1984 when all the funny people (Eddie Murphy, Julia Louis Dreyfus, Joe Piscapo, etc.) left.

I loved the Hillary/Palin skit, but click here to see my favorite Amy P SNL skit of all time. It’s Fierrrrrrcccce!

Ain’t We Lucky We Got ‘Em? The other day I was watching Good Times (love that show! Norman Lear was brilliant!) and I think I really understood the theme song’s lyrics for the first time in my life. No, I don’t live in the projects, but I do live in America, and times are rough right now. Watching the news is like watching a horror movie. I mean, who in my generation would have thought that friggin’ Lehman Brothers would go down and Merrill Lynch would get sold?! Nuts! Oh, and more than half of the mortgages in this country are under control of the federal government because Fannie and Freddie were about to fail? This is wacky stuff, people!!

Even though my household income is above average (that has more to do with my boyfriend than with me) last week before Hurricane Ike hit down south, we were rushing to the gas station to fill up before the price shot up. And I refuse to look at the statements for my 401(k). Because I don’t want to cry.

People from my company got laid off last week. That happened at my last job. And the one before that too! Oh, and have you bought an airline ticket lately? CRAZY! And yesterday, I heard some pundit on cable news talk about “whether we are headed for a recession.” Um, I’m no economist, but it this is not a recession, I don’t know what the hell is!

Get this – last week, I returned a pair of shoes because I’m trying to budget. I – the world’s biggest lover of stilettos – returned a pair of shoes!!!You know things are bad! Scratchin’ and survivin’, indeed!

9021-Oh yes she did! Gurrrrrrlllllll, did y’all see who Kelly Baby Daddy is last night?!?! Lawd, hammercy! I will give you one day to check your DVRs – just ONE DAY people – because I’m going into deep detail on this shizz tomorrow! The possible plot lines abound! (And if you can’t wait – click here to find out). I can’t believe I’m hooked on this show. I bet Tori Spelling is royally PO’ed that she’s not in it now!

The Women. I needed a little break from the world this weekend, so I went to the movies in search of a chick flick. The Women has gotten horrible reviews, so I had absolutely no expectations when I plunked down my $8 for a ticket (by the way, since when is a matinee 8 bucks?! Scratchin’ and suh-vivin’!). And I really, really liked it! Annette Benning was awesome. And to my surprise, so was Meg Ryan (despite the fact that she looks like she is slowly morphing into Dyan Cannon. Eesh!) I mean, it’s not an Oscar winner or anything, but it was funny and I think it really hit some of the dynamics of female friendships on the head. I think it got bad reviews for the same reason the SATC film did – because film reviewers are male, and they don’t understand women at all.

After seeing it, I watched the original film on Turner Classic Movies (one of my favorite networks) on Monday. I have to say, I liked the remake much better. I mean, Joan Crawford was amazing, as always, but overall I found the film to be way too slapsticky (I know it was the ‘30s and that was the thing). But most of all, the women in the original film took cattiness to new levels. The claws were out! They were some b*itchy broads! It was insane. The makers of that film did not understand women at all – all the characters were caricatures. I was very disappointed. It’s rare that I favor a remake over a classic.

Jack’s Coming Back! YAY! I have new 24 to look forward to! There is a new trailer for the 24 TV movie that comes out in November to tide us loyal addicts over until the January season premiere (click here to see it). It’s a little different from the bootleg working copy I swiped from the interwebs a while back, and and the name of the movie was changed from Exile to Redemption, but it still looks GOOD!

I don’t know how I’ve survived more than a year without my Jack Bauer. No idea. I. Cannot. Wait! Oh, and I read that Elisha Cuthbert has signed on for the next season to play Bauer’s daughter. Not that I was crazy about her character, but it means that the plot will require Kiefer to frequently scream “KIM!!!!” That makes me happy.

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